I went into a box and it wasn’t a box.
I asked the box to go wandering.
We could go to planets
We could visit stars
Or Tuesday.
That box could go anywhere at all.
And so we did.
A magical collection of fifty poems inspired by the world of Doctor Who.
James Goss has adapted three Doctor Who stories by Douglas Adams for BBC Books (City of Death, The Pirate Planet, and The Krikkitmen). He’s also written several original Doctor Who and Torchwood books. His novel #Haterz is in development as a motion picture. He’s also written for the stage and the radio. This is his first (and probably only) volume of poetry.
Russell T Davies is a television writer, the creator of groundbreaking shows such as Queer As Folk, Bob & Rose, Casanova, Cucumber, and in 2018, A Very English Scandal for BBC One. He brought Doctor Who back to our screens in 2005, also creating spinoffs Torchwood and the Sarah Jane Adventures.
Dawn came to the Thousand Year Wood. It had snowed again, as it always did. Figment poked his head out of his little burrow and made his careful way through the fresh white snow.
He wondered if today he’d meet Whoot the Owl. Whoot had been working on a Special Snowing Song, the words of which he’d learned by heart yesterday, but today they were gone from the tip of his tongue.
“Oh dear,” said Figment. “I must stop keeping things on the tip of my tongue.”
He carried on his happy way through the Thousand Year Wood, trying ever so hard to remember that song. Songs were like that in the Thousand Year Wood. You’d go to sleep with them laid out ready to slip on the next morning, only to wake up and find them all covered in the snow of a new day.
Figment wondered which of his friends he’d find in the snow today. Perhaps TymeWore (such a sad little donkey) or maybe he’d be whisked away by Dr Roo, who’d want him to go hunting for Gallifrump.
Figment pottered on, until he stubbed his toe against something in the snow.
“Ow,” said Figment and scratched his head when he’d stopped rubbing his toe. “What’s this?”
It was a tree, hidden in the snow. He worked to uncover it, singing a jolly little Uncovering Song as he worked. The tree was square and blue, which was exciting, as Figment had never seen a blue tree before. There was some writing on the blue tree, which Figment couldn’t quite make out. He scratched his head (which had seen a good deal of scratching) and spelt out what he could.
“OFFICERSANDCARS
RESPOND TO URGENT CALLS”
Figment read it again and he smiled. “How terribly nice of Officer Sandcars,” he said to himself. Figment wondered ever so much what he looked like.
“I do hope my call is urgent,” said Figment. “Or, at least, that it sounds urgent.”
Puzzling this problem, Figment wandered away into the Thousand Year Wood. He was humming to himself, humming a tune which the strange blue tree had taught him …
When I was One
I was not much fun
When I was Two
I was barely through
When I was Three
I liked strong tea
When I was Four
I hated a bore
When I was Five
I was so alive
When I was Six
I somehow could never quite fit in to what was expected of me, well, not exactly but that was because things weren’t neat and there are no easy rhymes in the universe and scansion, my dear Peri, is a thing that’s really overrated and you only have to look at a sunset to realise that creation itself is a poem and oh no wait, got it, of course, Fix! The line needed to end with Fix! (Or tricks. That works too.)
When I was Seven
I sent gods to Heaven
When I was Eight
Kissing was great
When I was Nine
I fought time
When I was Ten
I began again
When I was Eleven
I totally got even
When I was Twelve, I became as clever as clever
And now I think I’ll be Twelve for ever and everfn1
“Quarks, Quarks
Cybermen, Cybermen
Mechonoids, Voord, Zarbi
Take great care!” said the Doctor
“Although I am only me.
It’s more than it’s worth to invade the Earth, without
First consulting me.”
“Quarks, Quarks
Cybermen, Cybermen
Mechonoids, Voord, Zarbi
If your Battlefleet happens to
In the vicinity be
Then I’ll teach you – reluctantly”
(said the Dr, said he)
“To give the Earth a rather wide berth, rather
Than tangle with me.”
Davros
Put up a notice
“WANTED DEAD or ALIVE!
(BEST DEAD)
THIS NASTY IMPOSTOR
THAT SOME CALL THE DOCTOR
JUST CANNOT BE SHOWN TO THRIVE
(PS: DO LEAVE OFF THE EARTH, IT’S REALLY
OUR TURF, AND WELL,
WE WOULD SO HATE TO FIGHT).”
Quarks, Quarks
Cybermen, Cybermen
Mechonoids, Voord, Zarbi
They all took some exception