ABOUT THE BOOK

‘Give me the daggers and I’ll pin the blame
On Duncan’s grooms, who both are also slain.
A little water clears us of this deed
Though a large scotch might also do the trick...’

Macbeth – very much shorter, and more playful than you’ve known it before.

The Incomplete Shakespeare is a new series of the Bard’s greatest plays, pared down to the essentials and with invaluable side-notes from John Sutherland.

Hilarious for those who know their Shakespeare, perfect for the theatre-goer needing a quick recap – and a massive relief for those just desperate to pass their English exam.

This ebook contains footnotes which can be viewed on all devices. If your device doesn’t support pop up text, please use the link to move between the text and footnote. Click the footnote number to return to the text.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Crace is the Guardian’s parliamentary sketch writer and author of the ‘Digested Read’ column, and he writes regularly for Grazia. He is the author of I Never Promised You a Rose Garden: A Short Guide to Modern Politics, the Coalition and the General Election and also Baby Alarm: A Neurotic’s Guide to Fatherhood; Vertigo: One Football Fan’s Fear of Success; Harry’s Games: Inside the Mind of Harry Redknapp; Brideshead Abbreviated: The Digested Read of the Twentieth Century and The Digested Twenty-first Century.

John Sutherland is Lord Northcliffe Professor Emeritus of Modern English Literature at University College London and previously taught at the California Institute of Technology. He writes regularly for the Guardian and The Times and is the author of many books, including Curiosities of Literature, Henry V, War Criminal? (with Cedric Watts), biographies of Walter Scott, Stephen Spender and the Victorian elephant Jumbo, and The Boy Who Loved Books, a memoir.

ACT 1, SCENE 1

A desolate place33

FIRST WITCH44

When shall we three meet again?

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?55

SECOND WITCH

Fair is foul, and foul is fair:66

Macbeth shall play truth or dare.

THIRD WITCH

Do we ever see the sun?77

Or would that be too much like fun?

ACT 1, SCENE 2

King Duncan’s camp

DUNCAN

What bloody man is that?88 He can report

The newest state of war: for I do find

Myself conveniently out harm’s way.99

BLEEDING SERGEANT

The Norwegians1010 are a fearsome bunch,

But brave Macbeth did have them all for lunch.1111

His noble sword did smite to lay them waste

And take the treach’rous Thane of Cawdor hostage.1212

DUNCAN

I never did much like that wretched cur,

Macbeth shall have his title and his land.1313

ACT 1, SCENE 3

A heath

THREE WITCHES

We three sisters do sing and dance

Till we reach a psychotropic trance.1414

MACBETH

So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

BANQUO

What withered and unholy hags are these

That standeth here?1515

MACBETH

Speak, if you can: what are you?

FIRST WITCH

All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Glamis!1616

SECOND WITCH

All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, Thane of Cawdor!

THIRD WITCH

All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter.

BANQUO

How com’st

Thou have so many titles for Macbeth

And yet none for me? Speak on, foul visions.

FIRST WITCH

Lesser than Macbeth, and greater.

SECOND WITCH

Not so happy, yet much happier.1717

THIRD WITCH

Thou shalt get1818 kings, though thou be none.1919

Witches vanish2020

BANQUO

It doth seem to me I have received

The shortest straws in these strange prophecies.

MACBETH

I would not lose much sleep if I were you,

For I’m not even Thane of Cawdor yet.

Enter Ross

ROSS

Surprise, surprise, O valiant Macbeth

The king hath bestowed on thee an upgrade

And now thou art become a thane twice o’er.

BANQUO

Call me a little simple if you must,

But this seems too much a coincidence.2121

MACBETH

Two truths are told by supernatural means,

So naturally my thoughts turn to murder.2222

BANQUO

You seem a bit preoccupied, my lord.

MACBETH

We’ll speak anon. Till then enough, good friend.2323

ACT 1, SCENE 4

Duncan’s castle

MALCOLM

I have report of Cawdor’s execution.

He spoke most well of you and did repent

When there was still hope of royal pardon.2424

DUNCAN

There’s no art

To find the mind’s construction in the face:

He was a gentleman on whom I built

An absolute trust. Talking of which, here

Comes Macbeth.2525

MACBETH

Thou bestoweth too much honour

Upon my unworthy name.2626

DUNCAN

Think not on’t,

Thou art a decent chap. And Banquo too,

Though he hath not been given a thaneship

As reward. Make good speed unto your gaff

Where our dear eldest Malcolm shall be named

The Prince of Cumberland, where’er that is.2727

MACBETH

Oh bugger it, I had not thought of this,

Now I shall have to top poor Malcolm too.

ACT 1, SCENE 5

Macbeth’s castle

28